756 miles in UTAH

Dheeraj Valkya sing a song UTAH UTAH… Dheeraj Valkya sing a song to all the UTAH days.



When I landed with a US assignment for 3 months, I was elated as a childhood wish of mine would soon come true. Yes, I would finally get my authentic, made in china, purchased in Disneyland “Mickey Mouse”. Not that there is a dearth of mickeys in India, but just like you do not buy a crystal turtle from china bazaar, you do not buy a mickey from Archies store. But that is not what I want to write about. This is a blog to that adventure which maverick dreams are made of and you do not dream them, you just do them.



It was an eight hour journey from Fort Myers to Utah. I had lunched on a chillies salad in Dallas, thanks to American insipidity. The airport staff was eyeing me warily as though I might need a 911. Throughout the flight I had this immense feeling of butterflies in my stomach. No, It wasn’t the gas! It was the kind of excitement that I had when I first went parasailing. Then I was meeting this guy I hadn’t seen in four years and I hardly had any acquaintance enough to make this long journey in a foreign land. That’s Dhir for you.



June 30th 10 pm, a date to remember. It was a date with Dhannu which she kept for the next 3 days. Dhannu has a figure to die for. She so aerodynamically perfect that she could carry off this little elephant on her with such ease. Her color is the one of energy, the one of Aum. She is as fast as you want her to go and as nimble to maneuver. She also turned out to be our lucky mascot.





DHANNU



Under those neon lights in the parking lot, the moment I set my eyes on her, a song came into the background, “DreamGirl… kisi shayar ki safar dream girl” and putt… Dhir broke into this beautiful thought process of mine by shoving me into a huge helmet, a pair of knee caps, elbow pads and what not. In his words “Safety First”. He is this stupid ergonomic engineer. Oh, and you should have seen the way he was laughing when I tried to mount her. I felt like a zombie. Finally after 15 mins of struggle, I finally sat on the pillion. I was grumbling inside. Dhir was happily dressed in shorts and a tee and whistling. Vroooooooomm… naah. Dude you’ve got to stick to the law. You cannot Vroom in a parking lot. After a few minutes we stopped at a gas station to refuel and I yanked the helmet off and threw it away. Like a child who throws a tantrum, I yanked off the elbow pads and knee caps. Now I was ready for the real ride. To feel a bumpless road under you and the air slicing under your ears hitting you cold on the nose is a feeling that only dogs can describe the best and I say it is awesome. I made Dhir promise me that he wouldn’t let me sleep. Sleep was going to be such a waste of time.



Utah in the night is a beautiful place. It reminded me of expanded banjara hills with all huge banked roads and slopes with houses on either side. Dhir took me to his alma mater and sentimentally explained each of its buildings. Then he showed me a few major landmarks in the Utah downtown including his personal favorite hang out place. I saw the Merman temple though from the outside. Utah seemed to follow an ancient architectural culture as each landmark seemed to be associated with a story. We then went to the Starbucks at the Utah Medical Center. The Utah Medical Center is the third best in US, and by the looks of it I’d say yes. It was almost 2am by the time we finished coffee and I asked Dhir, “Where is my surprise?” He then took me to this high class area of million dollar homes which are situated high above the regular town. I was not impressed. He then asked me to close my eyes and told me to stand on the pillion. When he asked me to open my eyes, the most beautiful sight met me. The whole of Utah glittering ahead of me and he was gently driving down the slope as I stood spellbound. For the second time that evening I was in love. Oh! Did I not mention the first? It was when I saw Dhannu.



By 3:30 am I was sleepy and Dhir told me that if we were to drive the whole of next day this is all the rest we would be getting. Let me tell you, even the lure of a bike trip cannot wake me from that sweet slumber. If it were so easy to wake then I would have probably landed in one of the IITs instead of a local college. With a lot grumbling and a bit of kicking we ready by 5am. It was then that the biggest hurdle of the trip was thrown onto my shoulders. A huge backpack which had a tent, a few clothes etc,etc… and probably weighed a 100 kilos. Dhir since he had the privilege to ride had a juice bag on. When he asked me if I was ok, I could only wheeze and the staff in the store again looked at me as though I needed 911 and I’m sure they thought Dhir was a psycho. The first drag hit as soon as we were on the freeway. On a moderate speed on the bike you can sit upright. But with 100 kilos of weight strapped to your back and at a speed of 100 miles an hour, it is called a recipe for painful suicide. As Dhir pointed out Utah’s copper factory unit to me I lifted my self a few degrees and zonk!!!

“Sei.. What are you doing?” Dhir yelled over the wind.

“Trying to view the copper factory” I screamed back. I think I had a whiplash already.

“Sei… in this speed padithe iddaram chasthaamu, just stick to me” Dhir was instructing.







As I sat inclined with Dhir and moving along with him, I felt like a baby stuck on mother monkey as she swung on the trees. I hardly had the chance to view anything around me and I’ll be honest I was not interested in anything around me. This was the kind of speed that excites me. This was the kind of sound that is music to me. Dhannu was in her zooming spirits. I knew we had entered the mountain terrain as icy mountain air hit me on the face and hands. The sheer speed at which we were traveling made it work like knives on my arms. Plus the drag due to the bag and the helmet had already started acting on my shoulders and neck “BREAK”, I yelled and we stopped 15 feet from this. Without any warning I jumped of the bike. What I didn’t realize that the right side was actually a slope and with all the weight I fell right on the back with my hands and legs flailing in the air. Dhir later told me that I looked like an upturned tortoise. And by Newton’s third law, my jump caught Dhir unawares pushed him off and Dhannu fell too. There are times in life when you do not know what/who to prioritize. This was a catch 22 for Dhir. Should he pick me and let Dhannu’s fuel run in causing an airlock or leave me slipping down? Well thank god he picked me up first I would have killed him otherwise and then we both picked up Dhannu. Surveying the damage I had a bruised elbow and an ego while Dhannu had scratch on her tail. For 3 hours we drove through the mountainous terrain. By the time we reached Manti I was frozen. I picked some gum and juice at the local store and sat in the sun. I was so badly in need of some warmth that I just plunked outside the store right next to the trash can. Dhir looked around, sighed and joined me on the ground.



Half an hour later we were back on the road. The mountainous terrain had ended and the flat hot terrain met us. On one side was the vast stretch of deserted land. There wasn’t a single spot of green anywhere. Riding on the asphalt road I could practically smell burnt rubber. To other side were these sandstone structures burning like copper in the hot sun. The sun was now right overhead. On the mountainous terrain we had still met some bikers, a group of Harleys, a lone goldwing but this stretch was deserted but for the two of us. The weight on my back seemed even more ominous. By the time we reached a snack bar I was exhausted. I ordered a sub full of jalapeños and an energy drink which again drew stares. Dhir told me that I would be giving others heartburn soon. I begged to be left in this air conditioning comfort. Our campsite was still 100 miles away and on a calculated basis it would take us 2 more hours to reach there. The ride to the campsite is something I do not remember too well. Sunstroke maybe! We reached the campsite and the three of us ran under some shade and the two of us lay flat on the grass without a word.We pitched our tent put all our belongings in it and zipped it shut.

“We better start soon if we need to see the arches” Dhir said

“How much farther is it?” I asked. Dhir did not reply.







LOOK AT THE ARID TERRAIN



The terrain in canyonlands is completely made of sandstone. The huge brown and pink hills and boulders stood shimmering in the hot sun. There was not a dot of green and I wondered about precipitation in this region when I read that the river Colorado flowed through this state.



“Everything in America is huge na Dhir” I said.

“What?” Dhir asked

“The space, these hills and boulders and even the people are so huge”. There was a group of rather huge Caucasians around. Dhir was scandalized.





SCANDALIZED DHIR!!!



Moab is a small town which is thrives predominantly on tourism. The major attractions around Moab are the Arches, Canyonlands and the rapids in the Colorado River. Another 100 miles or so we would be at the Grand Canyon, but that will be another trip. Today on our list was the arches. We picked up some fuel, candy bars, water and I got to taste the famous ‘snowball’. I liked the chocolate filled strawberry coconut. No wonder Julianne Moore received it as a wedding present. Please watch ‘Laws of Attraction’ for this reference, I have no patience to explain. As we entered the arches national park I had crane my neck 90 degrees and even then I couldn’t see the top of the mountain. The whole park has certain marked structures which have been carved by the wind in a very peculiar way. The vast expanse of space full of these structures made me wonder why it was left uninhabited. Americans can grow grass in Antarctica then why not here? Then I read a board proclaiming “This is a site of natural cultural heritage”. I laughed and told myself, “In our country even Qutub Minar has to fight for space with our population.



“Vasu…” Dhir called to me. “Adigo that is the Delicate Arch” he said pointing to a structure about 6 kilometers away and way up on a hill. From that distance it looked as though someone had passed a bullet through a samosa.







A FEW PICS IN THE ARCHES AND RIGHTMOST IS THE LONG SHOT SIDE VIEW OF DELICATE ARCH



“Pada, velldamu’, said me.

“Sei.. we cannot ride up to the Arch. You’ll have to walk a lot” Dhir warned.

“Oh come on. Intha dooram vacchi how can I not go there” I urged.

“Vasu we do not have any water” Dhir said pointing to a plaque which clearly read ‘Please carry sufficient water”



Our reserves were almost empty. Some tourists were leaving so we requested them to sell their bottles to us. They gave it gladly and warned us that it wasn’t going to be an easy task climbing up. About 15 mins into the trek, we finished our water, we were breathless and I sat gasping on the ground.



“Lets go back” I panted.

“Konchem dooram ee kada” Dhir cajoled.



For the next hour and a half gasping, panting like an Arab lost in the Sahara. As we trekked I noticed a real fat old aunty who was casually climbing up. I felt ashamed and kicked at a few rocks.



“Vasuuu… what have you done”, Dhir yelled

“What, is it illegal to kick stone?” I retorted.

“Sei, those stones were to indicate the path. Now thanks to you we are lost” Dhir said.

“Oh come on, we are like this close” I said pointing at the Arch which was possibly 100 meters away.







LEFT PIC SHOWS THE ARCH RISE ON THE BASIN LIP AND RIGHT PIC SHOWS ME LEADING DHIR TO OUR DOOM. IN THE RIGHT PIC TAKE A LOOK AT THE RIGHTMOST SIDE, THOSE BOULDERS MASK THE STEEP VALLEY OF DEATH.



“Vasu but how will we go?” He asked pointing towards the Arch. We looked around and could not see any path or steps to the arch and yet there were people at the arch. We were standing at the lip of a huge round basin on whose other end raised the delicate arch. The only way I realized was to go down into the basin and up to the arch. Dhir pointed out that even then we could not climb into the arch we would still be at its side and we needed to climb through the hole to get there. I suggested that we could walk around the side of the arch up into the hole. So we started out. As we got around the side of the arch we were horrified. The jutting boulder had blocked from our view a 1000 feet deadly drop. I and Dhir clung like spiders to the huge boulder. One slip and we would be history. The worst was that we couldn’t move back as the crevices in the boulder seemed to be designed only to go up. In that moment of weakness my leg shivered and looked as though I might slip. Dhir freaked out.



“Hang on I’ll call 911” he said. He did not shout.

“There is no signal Dhir” I responded. There was tremor in my voice.



Clinging to the rock we assessed our situation, we were right behind the delicate arch. No one could see us and no one could hear us as the arch created a wind tunnel and people did not venture in as they would get sucked in it. Our only hope was climb into the wind tunnel and since it we would be climbing in the direction of the wind our chances were good. But to do that I must let go of right arm and latch on the crevice a few inches away and the swing my right leg over to haul myself in. One wrong move and I would bundle into Dhir and no one would find even our remains. I was freaking scared. My only thought was “God please let me hear Guns voice for one last time”.



“Vasuu…” I was amazed at God’s will. Is it really Guns? “Seii..” Dhir yelled knocking me back to reality.

“Listen I heave you up and then you can call help to pull me” he said.

“I’m not leaving you here” I stated shakily.

“We can’t keep hanging around here.” For the first time I sensed fear in Dhir’s voice. I looked up and said to myself. “This is it. I’m doing it”. I crawled up like a spider without a backward glance. Later Dhir told me that one second I was in front of him and the next I had vanished from sight. He then heard my voice calling him. I was sitting in the tunnel calling Dhir. I could not hear him as the wind was howling in my ears and I could not stand since I would be sucked in. I lay flat on my stomach when suddenly the juice bag went flying through the tunnel. I screamed for Dhir and a second later he climbed in.

“What did you do that for?” I yelled hugging him. Dhir couldn’t talk. We both sat still in the tunnel for a few minutes. We were badly shaken. “I put the bike keys in bag. You could have driven it back” Dhir said after regaining some breath. I gave him the most murderous look I could muster.







AT THE ARCH. THANKFUL TO BE ALIVE



A young chap joined us in the tunnel and asked us “Do you want a picture take?” We both smiled. While taking our picture, his Oakleys were swept by the wind right into the basin. “Damn.” He cursed. “Those were my new ones” he said and then he did the unthinkable. He calmly climbed into the basin retrieved his sunglasses and walked up the same way. It then hit me. “Friction” and the amazing chemical properties of sandstone were all that saved us. You cannot slip on sandstone. And to my chagrin Dhir also noted that the chap had walked into the basin and not around it and that if we had taken a left instead of a right it would have spared us this predicament. He also added that “This is why I never take directions from a woman.” I was way too relieved to argue with him.







ACHIEVED IT !!!, THOUGH DHIR LOOKS AS IF HE IS DONE WITH THIS.. HOW WRONG :P



Our way back was equally thunderous with a cyclone warning. The temperature had come down and a heavy downpour started. For normal people it would be very scary, but for us it really felt like a new lease of life. Dhir was actually so thirsty that he put out his tongue to drink the rain water. This incident spiked our nerves so bad that we were taking fun in standing at the edges of huge plateau structures taking pictures. By the time we reached the campsite we had calmed down a lot. After a quiet dinner we lay listening to songs outside the tent. I do not know when I fell asleep. Dhir says I was talking to Guns in my sleep. I do not believe him.



Next morning having overslept we were in one big rush. We had to make it to the boats else they would without us. At 6 am with sun just glinting over the hills we hit a record speed of 175 miles an hour. Dhannu was at her killer best. That was the most awesome ride in the entire trip. We made it just in time for the boat to leave. So tired we were that Dhir actually slept through the boat ride and did not wake up till we reached the rapids. The whirling boat ride in the rapids was real fun and the most fun part came when I pushed Dhir right into one of the rapids. Ha ha he was so scared that our co-passenger had to peel him off the boat and assure him that he was fine. On the whole the ride went well. After our rapids trip we went into Moab downtown for some souvenir shopping and lunch. I picked up a magnet and matching tees for me and Gun. Merman culture had these earrings called “Dreamcatchers”, but they did not appeal to me much. After lunch we went to visit the canyonlands. Canyonlands is a place which makes you feel like a Lilliputian in heaven. By the time we reached the top it was twilight. The sun’s rays cast a golden web on everything around and the slight mist was spiraling down from the clouds. The contrast in nature against the brown of the sandstone was like an artists canvas. Simply beautiful!We spent considerable time in canyonlands. I was taking pictures from really precarious vantage points, Dhir gave up on me and slept for half an hour at the edge of the last viewpoint.







Clockwise: ALLIGATOR ROCK, THE SEEMINGLY CALM RIVER COLORADO,DHIR CREATING RAPIDS :P



We had spent a lot of time in canyonlands with me exploring each and every landmark and taking lots of pics and shooting videos. The weather too had favored us. The pics came out to be amazing.On our way back I thought that this adventure started out with such a bang and poetically it had a silent ending. Ha ha!! Can that ever happen with Dhir around? We were riding back to the camp and we had to ride fast as it was getting dark. Unaware to me and very well aware Dhir, we were hitting 75mph 90mph in 50mph zone. Within a few minutes Dhir suddenly pulled over and I noticed a cop vehicle with those flashing lights approaching us. I was confused as to what happened. The cop asked us where we were headed to and then asked for some papers. Aghast I noticed that the zip on the bag was open and my passport was dangling precariously. Momentarily I was thankful that this cop stopped us else I would have been in a very sorry state losing my passport. As the cop slapped a $100 fine on Dhir all my thankfulness vanished while Dhir maintains the fact that I ought to be grateful as he was not jailed. I didn’t believe so, until much later when I narrated this to my colleagues they said that they were grateful that they didn’t have to bail me out and that the cop was way too benevolent to us. On a leaving note the cop told me, “Smack him on the head Slap him on the face the next time he rides so fast”.