The Fussy Make Eaters

Most parents dread the ages of 1 and a half and above. This is the phase of ‘I don’t want to eat’ starts. Hark!! We still have not reached the I bought this from my pocket money stage… so rest assured we are still safe. They say that it won’t be until the kid goes to a hostel, that she or he starts appreciating homemade food. So no worries, we are all in the same stormy waters, but few of us (me incl) have a better lifeboat :P.

Some children may not have that great a capacity to eat, while some eat well. It all depends upon how we as parents eat. Children eat what parents eat. Also a child will eat only when hungry. And a child will get hungry only when the child has loads of activity (other than physically growing up) and proper sleep. The physical appearance of a child has nothing to do with food. Chubbiness is  genetic and does not reside in cerelac bowls.

Sample Menu of a fussy eater: only 10% of this the child would allow inside with rest landing at all places in and outside the house.
6:00 AM : Milk
7:30 AM : Breakfast of 2 idlis/A jam sandwich/A chaptti with lots of stress on the mother as she hankers to feed.
9:00 AM : Juice/Fruit
11:00AM: Biscuit
12:30: Lunch consisting of boiled veggies in rice/Cerealac rice combi/any other gooey stuff
3:30: Milk
5:00: Biscuit/any tiffin
6:00: any fruit
8:00: Dinner again with the gooey stuff.
9:00: Milk

My husband who is a pretty voracious eater himself would be sick with the menu and its timing above. It is a very very healthy menu. I do not deny that. But can anyone of us eat this way? If we as an adult cannot, why are we forcing it upon our children? Please do not share the advice that children are growing and hence must eat frequently. Children must eat as they are hungry not because we think they are supposed to eat. Do not make your child think of food as an abomination. Treat it with the same genuine fun as we do with watching TV.

Oh then here is a sample menu of junk eaters: Only the chips are absorbed 100%
6:00 AM : Milk
7:00 AM : Breakfast of 2 idlis/A jam sandwich/A chaptti with lots of stress on the mother as she hankers to feed.
9:00 AM : Kurkure/Chips
11:00AM: Chocolate
12:30: Lunch consisting of boiled veggies in rice/Cerealac rice combi/any other gooey stuff
3:30: Milk
5:00: Biscuit/Coke
6:00: More chips/fryums
8:00: Dinner again with the gooey stuff.
9:00: Milk

 First question: Why in the first place your fridge stocked with any of the fizz drinks? And what is the kurkure packet doing in your kitchen cabinet? Children are never the fussy eaters. It is us parents who are the fussy fussy make eaters. Give me a choice, I’ll grab a coke and big pack of chips for lunch even today.No one menu is perfectly suited for a kid. It varies. But what has to vary is how we eat. Also we must recognize a child’s palate. What the child likes and make more of it. A gentle way to introduce a new taste. Each taste takes time to build.

Case Study: How I recognized what, how and et all that Pari likes.

Palate:
As a baby when we started giving food, the first and foremost thing I avoided is preserved food like: Jam, Honey, Gerber Baby Foods(These ruin. Trust Me), etc. Then the milk. We generally give full cream milk to our kids. One cup of full cream coffee keeps me satiated for 2 hours, imagine what it would do to a child’s appetite. For Pari we reduced the milk 5 times a day to first 4 with threptin in between and by the time proper lunch and dinner routine set in, it is only 2 times in a day, with some chocolate milk/milkshake in the evening as snack. Most important is that milk till date is taken without sugar or very less. Sugar is a big big appetite killer.

We started off by giving what we would eat albeit in a softer form. Like rice, dal, thori, bhindi, brinjal, lauki,potato etc. I would cook these vegetable the same way as for us, but avoid the mirchi. At first she didn’t like the potato. But she enjoyed the sweet potato. At the age of 7 months onwards children are curious and willingly try everything. Also what I noticed is that she would spit out the food if the salt was not sufficient. So I had to be careful about that. And till date she still does not eat peas, so that’s fine there are other green veggies that she likes. As her food choices became more pronounced, I noticed she liked almost everything her Dad ate including Yam and bitter gourd. I still don’t eat bitter gourd. Also it had to be cooked in the same way as for him. The only deviation being coconut chutney and rasam where she still eats coconut is its natural form and rasam needs garlic tempering unlike her dad who prefers asafetida.

Being a kid she loves ice creams, potato chips, coke and other junk food. Neither do I stock these at home, nor do we personally consume these anymore even outside. Ice Cream is reserved for special days of being Ms. Two-Goody-Shoes. I’ve even requested anyone visiting us home to kindly not bring any chocolates. We serve either coffee/tea/juice to our guests. Potato chips however, I use the handmade ones since she loves to eat them with rasam. Coke is never ever. Even we do  not drink fizz anymore. We do not even buy lays, fryums, kurkure,cheetos or any such stuff. Infact I do not go to those aisles. I encourage cut fruits, milkshakes, sweet/salty biscuits, oreos, homemade cakes, khakra,kharapoosa, pistas, dried berries, pop corn, as nibble food. The one and only vice we have is chewing gums and lollipops. The gum is thanks to my addiction L But those darn lollipops make her hyper. It scares me to see a generally calm child so hyper. Darn you sugar. But then, I love buying her those lollipops… remember the fun we used to have… ahh ok now back to being the parent.

Capacity:
This is very very important. We need to note the quantity of consumption very carefully. For two things of course, one is not to waste food, and the other not to force it down the child’s throat just because you don’t want to throw all that ghee down the bin. Now with Pari we noticed her optimum quantity of milk is 100ml with 2 spoons of pediasure. We stick to this. Anything above, it would be our fault and it has to go down the bin no matter what. And we do not fuss about that. Please do not do not eat/drink what the child has left out or feed him back the same after a while. First, the child must not get the impression that you are his garbage can and secondly that food is a punishment. There is still time to get the age where we can make them understand the importance for not wasting food.

I’ve generally noticed mothers mixing a bowl full of food for lunch/dinner. It is intimidating. Have you ever imagined what you would feel if your plate is totally heaped with rice? You may be able to eat that much but the sight of it surely would scare you and kill your appetite. The same is with kids. Mix small quantity of food. Say a table spoon with vegetable. The a table spoon with dal. The small morsels are easier to digest both visually and orally. Also with some  kids the first few morsels of food need to be plain. Like plain roti or plain rice. Let them enjoy these morsels. It serves as an appetizer and after a few morsels you can add the veggies etc.


Patterns:
Some kids get plain bored of eating and may refuse food. So always eat together. It keeps up the tempo. Some kids need to be fed intermittently. To each his own. It is a bit tiring but, that’s how their system is. For example your kid will complete his portion of dal rice but may need an hour or so before eating curd rice. This is completely normal. Some kids eat in one go. Like Pari, once she is done with either her lunch or dinner, for 2 hours post that she may eat a fruit or have some milk. But the quantity will be very less. More or less like a urge to nibble on something. Never feed a child every meal or snack with the intent of filling her up. Food must be enjoyable.



What you eat is what the child wants to eat:
Never mix 10 things together. Let the tastes dwell. It is very simple and healthy to boil all veggies with rice or hide the taste by mixing with the atta. The whole intent is that it must go down my child’s throat without much fuss. And yes it is sooooo nutritious. First thing will you eat that gooey stuff. If the answer is NO, then please do not feed your child in this manner. Feed them what you eat the way you eat. Children can very easily sense whether or not you are eating this normally or as a ruse to feed him. Do not be dishonest. You can’t really provide all the minerals and vitamins all the days. Some day less  someday more, that is normal. Perfectionism ruins food for the kid.

Even when Pari asks for coffee, we do not cheat her. We simply put less decoction and serve it to her in the coffee cup that we use . Children are clever enough to realize what you are trying to dump down their throat with the ruse. Never ever make a child feel about food as dumping nutrition. Or even providing nutrition is a tasteless way. Food must be fun.


Let the hunger grow:
 Allow your child to ask for food. Let the hunger grow. Some parents say that their child if left this way can go on without food for a whole day and then ask for milk at the end of the day, kick up a fuss and sleep. I can thoroughly understand how desperate it makes a parent feel. But hunger is a habit to be inculcated specially for over caring parents like us. We time the child’s food but not his hunger. And then we start giving tonics to induce hunger. This is a very very incorrect practice. A very good pediatrician Mr.V. Subbarao shared tips on how to allow the hunger to build.

1.       Do not fill the child with milk. It reduces hunger.

2.       Do not overfeed. If a child refuses at a point, leave it. The capacity to eat will increase over the time.

3.       Do not time the feeds as per a timetable. Time it as per a child’s hunger.

4.       Allow the child to feel hungry. It helps to digest food better.


Sample Activity:  Once Pari started Nursery, I had to adjust a lot to her food timings. Sometime she was hungry when she came home and sometimes not. I had to be perceptive as she still did not know how to tell me she was hungry. So if she was in a good mood, I understood she just had her snack. The snack may be a  simple biscuit , cracker, some choco flakes, cut fruits or cucumber. Nothing very substantial from my point of view. But hunger was appeased. Times when she is moody, cranky meant hunger. I kept oats, cut fruits, some idli or threptin anything light handy for that hunger appeasing moment. Instead of asking her if she was hungry, I would begin by eating something and if she was hungry she would come to me and I’d offer her some from my bowl. Slowly I began offering her in another bowl. After sometime when I would not offer, she would ask. Even today 100% she cannot ask for food whenever she is hungry. But at least she asks sometimes, so that’s good for me.

 Food Moods:
 As with us adults children too have their food moods. After a week of rice, even the kid gets fed up and refuses to eat rice. They may want to eat Maggie or pasta or dosa or even dhokla. Now here is another ruse for parents to fill up on the veggies. Please do not do that. When Pari started eating Pasta, initially it was plain boiled pasta with salt. Almost 3 months later once she discovered that she liked corn, she wanted that to be added to Maggie and Pasta. Now she allows vegetables like broccoli, carrots, and beans. Tomato, peas and Cheese is still a NO NO. And I’m hoping cheese grows on her soon. It is a very good food for kids. Even kids want something different for lunch and dinner in a while. I tried upma, poha, Maggie,pasta, bobbatlu, pulihora, sandwiches etc instead of the traditional lunch whenever I felt bored. Somehow it was in sync with Pari’s boredom too. Infact one odd weekend we skip lunch in favor of a late heavy breakfast. Food in our house is eaten to appease hunger happily and not dumped to fill our body with nutrition. So I really don’t care about those grey haired lasses who go ‘Hawww, she skipped lunch for the kid tch tch’. While they are busy running around the whole house to feed the poor harassed kid, I royally sit in front of the TV enjoying a weekend tasty brunch with my baby.

Also, when we travel or we are in a restaurant or in any public gathering we ourselves feel uncomfortable to eat. Specially the buffet system these days, even we cannot eat whole heartedly. Nothing beats the bliss of sitting in front of your television and eating. In children this is even more pronounced. There are a couple of ways to handle this, but each to his own:

1.       Try carrying the child’s food along. And even if you do chances are that the child will be more curious to eat what is out there than what you have brought. This is expected and normal. Do not fret. Do not stop carrying food. Moods you see.

2.       Try giving the child as plain food as possible. Like plain rice, plain chapatti, plain dal and curd. Generally easy to swallow foods. If papads and fryums are available add it to the food if your child appreciates it. I’m sure any restaurant or laid out buffet will have edible stuff for kids. Arre roadside dhabas/tiffin points have pulkas and dosas respectively.

3.       Banana/Threptin/Boiled Egg is the best option in cases above. It is most easy to carry, palatable and filling too.

4.       Nothing above is working then, milk is the next best as the substitute. It is soothing and filling. It’s just a matter of this afternoon or this day. Do not fret. And do not harass the child.

5.       Child says no to even milk. Try taking the child away from the crowd to a soothing familiar place. Obviously your car/the stroller. Please go alone or with your spouse and avoid an over caring audience, as chances are you may raise your voice to get that first morsel in and the audience is not going to appreciate that.

6.       If none of the above works and I’m sure by now you would have tried for about 3 hours without pause. Take a chill pill go have your food. Regain your composure from hunger and come back. It’s just a matter of a day or an afternoon or night. If the child does not eat, no harm done. He will definitely eat after sometime. After all hunger pangs you see… painful for any parent but inevitable.


With Pari, I generally do not force her to eat. Even if it means she is missing two straight meals. By the third one, she herself comes and sits beside me to eat. I too was like that as a child. It has taken me 6 months to bear and desist the pain one feels when the child is not eating. And to remain calm and not show the anxiety. This not only improves her hunger, it also teaches the thing which she had as a baby, you are hungry you will ask/cry for it :D.

Atleast Google before DIY

Yes, a tiny post on hilarious DIY(Do It Yourself) screw ups that I have come across. Most of us have had this experience of being toured around in an 1100 to 1500 sft space called home leaving us with lastimg impressions.The guide is so mellifluous about this space as if it were born from thy very own hands and crafted to perfection. This always makes me thank deity Santana Lakshmi that she didn’t bestow on us the power to design our children. Shudder!! Coming back to the point, when I am staring at some masterpiece I’d really have to bite down the urge to ask “Couldn’t you atleast consult Google?”

Simple DIY screw ups that I have come across are:

1.       Bar lights: Please do not use 0-watt bulbs and holders. There is something called as spot light. Kindly use these.

2.       Wall Canvas: Is supposed to be used on a plain wall not divided by doors and windows. And must be highlighted using focus lights. Unless you crop someone’s vision too along with photographs, this for sure is monstrosity.

3.       Children’ room: Children are gullible, not you. Spiderman is good on the fan, but spare the starlights on the ceiling. And for heaven’s sake leave the wall in a single color. The kid may go color blind you enthusiast.

4.       Paneling: Is good when it is done to complete a cabinet. But not good if the only un-paneled space left is the ceiling and flooring. Mighty claustrophobic I’d say.

5.       Furnishing: Oops!!! This tiny post can expand if I begin writing on this. Let’s just say, trust your architect. She/he has not done this degree for nix. And much as you appreciate your own taste, it wouldn’t harm to use professional help and if nothing then Google atleast :D.

So, for those of you who were asking me how my apartment is shaping up, please call the one who is actually doing it :D.


PS: If I ever choose(read afford) to build a house, I will ask Mr and Mrs Hari Ahluwalia as to who their architect was. In my humble opinion, their house is what I can call a dream house.

PPS: The next time I visit them, I'll be sure to take some pics of the interiors and post them for the greater good :).

The Duck Addict

Mummie's new best friend

Mummie’s new best friend has just turned one and a half. It seems like yesterday that Mummie was all praises for this extremely adaptable and calm 14- month old. Well, yes! A lot of that has changed in these 4 months. The accolades remain though ;)

18- month old Pari now loves a lot of new things. She has learnt a lot of new things and her vocabulary is amazing for an 18-month old and Mummie cannot help predict that her new best friend will be a writer someday. When Mummie sees Pari looking into the mirror trying to put on make-up, she marvels how feminine her best friend is turning out to be. But when it is WWF time, Mummie seriously does a lot of re-thinking about mirrors and feminine crap. So, apart from recognition, vocabulary and perception… Mummie is really soooo bored of the IQ meters. The only meter Mummie ever bothered about is the fun meter, well try telling those statistics that to the grandparents huh!. But then maybe you have to track those parameters if you really don’t want to be out-smarted. Mummie tried getting Pari jealous by saying ‘Appu Atta naadi’ and Pari simply responded by saying ‘Teja Mama naadi’. 1-0 Pari-Mummie. Ok um so where were we, hmm… apart from recognition, vocabulary and perception, being a stickler for time and food a trait which she has taken forward from her 14-month stage. However brinjal is dropped out from her list of eatables and so have goodday biscuits. Her getting ready to go out checklist now includes chapstick and sunglasses. Well Mummie’s too. Once when Mumie was putting on kajal, Mummie tried to mimic the kajal stick for a chapstick on Pari and got that look ‘Are you serious? Kidding right?’ Pari helps keep Mummie in check you see. See that is what best friends do. You can afford to be goofy and they will humor you :D. She senses when Mummie misses Daddy and silently hugs Mummie and points to the laptop saying Daddy with the cutest heart melting smile. And well in turn Mummie is her punching bag if she has had anything sugary before bedtime.

Pari now has new books. Apart from the bow bow book that she finally tore apart (just about the time Mummie was wondering if Pari would ever get naughty), she now has a meow book, a tinkle tinkle song book and a colors book. Now Mummie converses mostly in English while Pari refuses to follow suit. So when Mummie says shoes, Pari looks up and says ‘Cheppulu’. She has that quirky look in her eyes, which if Daddy had shown Mummie, he would be spending few nights on the couch. But then Pari is Mummie’s best friend and she can do that right? Pari has a keen sense of music. Once Mummie played ‘Aiyvin Aiyvin’ and Pari was adamant to hear ‘Dooba Dooba Anjali Anjali’. Then Mummie tried ‘Sheila ki Jawani’ and whoa!!! It was an instant hit. So Mummie realized that she probably needs to learn groove all over again.

The supermarket is probably Pari’s next favorite place after anywhere outside. She loves grocery shopping. She walks over to the fruit aisle and picks ‘appul’, ‘banana’, ‘boppay’ and ‘gapes’ and Mummie gets to choose one among them to take home for the week. Then over to the bikkitu aisle, no choices allowed here. Mummie and Pari pick the same ‘Hide n Seek’ J.  Pari reminds Mummie that all girls need one ice cream a week to keep them happy and Scoops it is on Saturdays or Sundays. She knows how ice cream keeps Mummie happy and well you know Pari chooses the best flavors. Well, that is not what Mummie thinks when she has to eat Mango, but thankfully Pari never chooses Strawberry. Mummie and Pari have their share of altercations over who gets to operate the Microwave oven, who gets to ride the bike, who gets the read the newspaper first , who gets to watch TV, who gets to hold baby Pranitha first, who gets the bathroom first, who gets to peel onions and who gets to talk to daddy first. On all except the last two accounts Mummie wins.

Pari is developing a lot of traits that are common in the age group of 1-4. Being fussy, wanting something specifically, repeating actions that keep warranting a ‘NO’, wanting to go out with friends who come to meet, pouring water on the kitchen floor and a lot more. Mummie thinks it is very similar to what Daddy does except for pouring water on the kitchen floor. Since yelling did not work with Daddy; Mummie is now thinking of innovative ways to get Pari to understand how things should work. Albeit Mummie is not doing a great job, she does yell at her best friend to make her stop. After a few minutes of silence and a pause in the offending piece of action, Mummie gets that heart melting smile again. Though Mummie has that overwhelming urge to smile and hug, she resists. That is what best friends do right?

The guy who bought a BOSE home theater system...Almost!!!

How are ill omens good for you?

Haaaachoooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Sniff. Oops! I’m sorry let us begin.

Did I just spell out Avada Kedavra? Well yes of course. I have spelt out the ‘S’ word. Oh my god! Now I must close the MS-Word application. Sit still for 30 mins. Drink some water and then reopen this document. This is called ‘Ashubhaarambh’. As my profile reads I can hardly understand any of this, and I’m not here to provide any explanation or chastise anyone practicing these traditions to counter the ill effects of these omens.  Some of which I personally have done. Why? Habitual, situational or rather if someone is staring down neck so you might as well do it before the drishti burns a big hole at the back of your head.

Somehow I find a lot of fun involved in these tiny little traditions. Some are fictional and some true.

1.       I really love to have my husband take a handful of salt and rotate it all around my head. Makes me smile at that goofy expression my husband puts in as a special effect. Those precious seconds make me feel as if I’m a trophy under going a gleaming process. What a terrible way to compare, I know. Sometimes I make him do it for fun ;)

2.       You have a train to catch at 5:00 PM.  It takes about 3600… well seconds to reach the railway station. It is 4’oclock already, you are just about halfway packed and… ‘Haaaaachoooo’. I leave it to your imagination. Trust me it is amazing fun to lose those precious few seconds here and run helter skelter at the railway station bulldozing about  30-40 people on the way and losing count of ‘excuse me!’. Epic fun I say!

3.       Now then, there is this guy who’s been trying since ages to settle a score with our only natural satellite a.k.a  Moon. It so happens that our Moon bhai ratted out on this fella and had him severed mid way as he was gobbling down a perma-living nectar. Poor fella, hadn’t heard of cloning yet. So that is our Rahu. And periodically he tries to gobble up Moon scientifically termed as Lunar Eclipse, which is apt considering how loony we all get during this time. No talking, no eating, stay indoors, do nothing except breathe.  Some fools go out there and take a photograph. Let her get a pimple on her nose tomorrow, I’d love to say “I told ya”.

4.       Then one day I come home to find my kid bawling out her lungs. My maid chides me the moment I step in. “I told you, never dress your girl in red. Now see what has happened.”  Well one can blame me if my daughter achieves a killer cute quotient in red J . After all it isn’t everyday that dear Red gets look so beautiful. It happened that Red did decide to grace me that instant. As I picked my child, she pulled my hand towards her mouth and bit my finger. Well, now red was on my finger. Thank you red, you told me my child was teething.  Just so you know it ain’t just red, my kid’s cute quotient is all time high in any color including au naturelle J

5.       “Where are you going?” Silence. “Get me some water. How many times have I told you not to ask where people are going specially if they are leaving on an important job”. Ok. After a few days, “Are you going out?”. Pause. “Yes”. “Can I come along”. “NO”. “Why? Where are you going?”. Silence. Stare.”Get me some water and how many times do I have to tell you not to ask people…”. After a few more days. “Going out?”. No answer. “Hey can you hear me?”. “Are you going out?”. No answer… LOL, that really felt good.

6.       Meow… mew mew mew. “Screeeeeeeeeeeech!!! Take that away Vasudha. You know I have an to meet the new boss today. Oh God!! Now I’ll have to bathe again.” 25 minutes later, door opens, Mew mew…. “Screeeeeech!!! Why can’t you shut her somewhere”. “Im trying , I’m trying…”. I was left holding the struggling kitten in my arms and searching for a place to hide her.Ah! the shoe box was perfect. So that day we went to the hospital to get scratch treatment done for my cousin and I was left googling to find a way to declaw kittens. Needless to say the new boss was one nasty wart. Oh well I told you so.

7.       And one fine day, well it was not so fine. We had this big meeting lined up with client and we were to pitch in with the plan to bag the support functions for a project that we had implemented for them.  We had the meeting scheduled at 11:00 AM. I sent out all the invites and was pretty happy with the Attendees responses, till horror of horrors started at me from the calendar. In accordance with the panchangam it was rahukalam (Rahu’s lunch time) from 11:00 to 1:30 PM.  Dear god, I was shuddering in fear. With bated breath we entered the conference room, only to find that our client was delayed as his flight was still circling above the hyderabadi skies for the fear of disrupting Rahukalam. Whew!! An hour later our client landed safely and the meeting was postponed to 3:30 PM. Yes I checked, no doshas. Yep, we got the deal alright but not without a hundred epithets being hurled at us for having screwed up the implementation part. Just then I noticed, the meeting had extended and Yamagandam(Yama’s potty time) had begun. I began shuddering again.

Dear reader, please do add in your contributions and versions of how much fun these ill omen countering tactics or traditions are and show all those, e-pundits with a satirical take on these, how they are missing out on all the fun.

A cellphone for mommie

Well, one would have thought that the market researchers and mobile phone manufacturers would have developed such a cellphone by now. Most of the low-end cell phones today offer a lot of the baby proof features, however I think they have failed to test certain highly important scenarios. For all the mobile phone manufacturers out there, I present these in my latest post.

Test Scenarios:

1. Throw the cellphone in a bucket(upto 60L capacity) and pull it out after 20 seconds.
2. Put the cellphone in the microwave for 20 seconds. Check the device responses at following settings for 20 seconds: 900,780,560  and Grill.
3. Throw the cellphone in a bowl of hot rasam/soup or some porridge.
4. Put the cellphone is the refridgerator and remove after 30 minutes.
5. Slam the cellphone on the floor. Pick up the pieces, re-assemble and test from step 1.
6.The litmus test however is to put the cellphone in a washing machine full of clothes and on a full cycle. 1
    hour 45 minutes later if the device is still working in pre-wash condition, you have the winner.
7.No touch screen,please I couldn't bear the massacre.

Now let us move over to the software. Why? Oh!dear, I'm sure you would have noticed that a 10 month old can successfully unlock your cellphone and send messages to all the contacts whose names start with an 'A'. In my case it is 'Adaddy'. If not, well then I have the smarter kid.

Now since I am a software engineer and I understand the importance of clear requirements, here goes:

Assumption: You are using a basic model cellphone that does not have a touch screen, wifi, bluetooth or any other data exchange feature like push mail etc supported by the network provider.

1. A key/setting to disable send message.
2.A key/setting to disable delete message.
3.A key/setting to disable make call.
4.A key/setting to disable accept call.
5.A key/setting to disable reject call.
6. Allow manual override of such setting with a key/pattern.

Mommies/Daddies reading this post are most welcome to add their requirements information and test scenarios. Please do not suggest behavioral correction techniques, they won't work.

A Grandmother's handbook for raising babies

Ideally this post is supposed to be written by my mother. But since she has probably misplaced her reading glasses and cannot handle any key other than the ones on a BSNL landline phone, I on her behalf am writing this piece.Which, is also why I get to insert my own comments too.Grandmothers generally have more patience as a grandmother than when they were mothers. No! they will not believe this. And they firmly believe that as a mother they definitely brought up their daughter better than how her daughter is now bringing up the child.Yet one cannot refute the fact that child brought up in presence of grandparents grows to be an empathetic,social and well behaved individual. A grandparent's lap is the safest and the happiest place in the whole world.

Granny: Once the child is 3 months old you must begin this training. I cannot word it, the graphical representation as below should suffice.This way you get to time the potty. Once the child can sit buy a small potty seat and get your child to sit on it timely.

Mummie: It works! And saves a lot on diapers. I've been saving on diapers since Pari was 8 months old.
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Granny: Massage the child from head to toe with gingely oil and let it sink in for an hour. Coat the child with gram flour and turmeric and wash it off with hot water. It will enhance your child's complexion and strengthen her bones and muscles. Also it is helps in getting rid of body hair. After his apply homemade(granny made) kajal and bindi. Kajal will make your child's eyes big and bindi will ward of evil eyes.

Mummie: The whole massage thing is good. Color enhancement is crazy because no amount of gram flour can alter the genes. I cannot comment about hot water, but after such a rigorous bath the baby sleeps till lunch time :). Also languo or body hair on a child does fall off a few months after birth. Big eyes??? Kajal, no matter who makes it,does not have gene altering capabilities. It may be provide some soothing effect on the eyes, but I'd rather not poke my fingers into my baby's eye. And warding off evil eyes... go figure. But yeah a baby with a large bindi does look scary.
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Granny: For treating cough and cold take a betel leaf and apply some castor oil on it.Place a blob of moist turmeric on the child's head and place the betel leaf on it. It is said to generate heat and dry the wind passages. Also a small amount of ginger powder in milk once a day will keep these maladies away.

Mummie: It works only if your child allows anything to remain on her head. Also if she happens to be too finicky about the taste of her milk, then god help you.
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Granny: To treat heat boils take a small amount of ghee on your palm. Put a few drops of water and mix it till a very white thick  forms. Put this on the boil.

Mummie: It is a winner. However I still recommend visiting the doctor since babies are prone to immunity problems and some cases may require an antibiotic.
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Granny: To prevent your child from vomiting milk burp the child after every feed. Do not put down the child for atleast an hour after feeding. In older children say playschool age, check their hair for lice. The only reason to vomit is if they have lice in their hair.

Mummie: Bingo!!!
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Granny: If the baby refuses food or has loose motions and fever, first check her mouth. She could be teething. 5 small balls of a homeopathy medicine 'Calcariaphos' will help your child to be comfortable through the teething process. Also there is something called 'Tilsm Moti'. This is tied around a child's neck and is said to make the teething comfortable.

Mummie: Right on all accounts except the Tilsm Moti. Yet I have tied that around my child's neck and probably will be recommending the same 30 years down the line.
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Granny: If your child is crying at night and if the child has a cold then you know what should have been done.Else try giving the bottle if she refuses then check the diaper. Many babies find it uncomfortable in the diaper or may be crying due to the begining of a rash. If even after removing the diaper the baby is not comfortable this means baby has colic pains. Take some coconut oil and apply it around the navel area in circular motions. Put a warm cloth over to alleviate the pain. Also the baby may be relieved after passing urine and sometimes this unrest disturbs the sleep and they get cranky.

Mummie: I bow to thee!
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Granny: The moment you see your child reaching out to stand up, these traditional walkers will help them to develop a correct posture and help in strenghtening their muscles. Also avoid extensive diaper use lest your child develops a unusual gait. Instead of doling out on those platic walkers, buy these.

Mummie: I don't know about the unusual gait, my kid was hardly allowed diaper at home.But yes, the walker thing is awesome. I bought the standard confinement one for my peace of mind.And then all my troubles began when Pari soon became confident to walk and refused to sit in the walker.
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Granny: Teach your child early on the right way to drink.Get the child used to a glass to drink water or juice. Start with a small silver glass and pour 2-3 ml  of liquid and mimick drinking from it. The child will follow suit.

Mummie: YES!!! I would have otherwise spoilt my child to depend on the bottle for everything.Silver or not ensure that glass is lightweight and has a broad lip.
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Granny: Ok I'll stick to the habit here because this could be whole post otherwise. Sing songs and tell interesting tales to keep the child engaged while feeding. Make each morsel a tiny rhyme to go down. Show her pups and leaves and when she looks in fascination shove a morsel in. PPS: Lots of ghee is a must.

Mummie: I think a child should be placed in the high chair from the age of 5 months onwards. Also, the child must be encouraged to feed herself. But then who has ever considered  my opinion anyway.

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Granny: Never yell at the child. You know she is a lot better than you were at her age. You always drove me nuts. Be gentle, don't starle her. Tell her gently.Your baby is such an angel, you should learn to be patient.

Mummie: 100% true. But mom she was putting her finger in the plug socket.

Granny: Sigh!I need to teach you how to baby proof a house.
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This handbook is expandable and will be updated to add all the learning in the years to come.Contributions are welcome.

Kolams

I love drawing kolams. In telugu the term for it is 'muggu', but it reminds me of muggers(as in studies and as opposed to mugger mugger of American slang). Hence Kolam it remains.

The beautiful patterns made on the courtyard of your home with shell dust or rice flour have a lot of traditional significance. I do not know the history. I just love drawing these and I love they way they enhance the welcoming to a home. Kolam is the beginning of festivity. The color and design and oh the competetion to have the biggest and the most beautiful one on your courtyard, hmm lovely memories. Standing outside with a bat in your hand, to give a whack to that fellow who hit the ball on to your kolam... priceless!Squirming within everytime someone steps right on your kolam while walking into your home, and then serving them a glass of water with the most murderous stare... mmhmmm.

 Kolams are highly mathematical in nature. Connecting the dots is not all about a kolam. The way to do it what creates a masterpiece. Continous practice at a kolam will teach you infinite patience to see a design evolve. I think it is great way to master hand-eye coordination, considering that in today's world 30 year olds cannot draw an egg to look like one.Though it has been years since I drew a kolam on my courtyard, considering I had none thanks to apartment style of living, it still brings me profound peace and happiness when I view these patterns. I have a record of all kolams I drew during my teen years, and today while hunting for some papers these to fell straight into my lap.

A few kolams that I drew long long ago:

And a few I drew today in mspaint:

                                                                              .........sheesh gimme shell powder any day!!!

Hell's Kitchen-Survival Guide lines

Disclaimer: Not to be mistaken for the popular cookery show. Not applicable to people who can cook or assume that they can cook.

If you are reading this then either you are in hell or on the receiving end of it. Since you know where you belong here are a few survival guidelines for the ones in it. It so happens that people belonging to an era that you’d never fathom existed will descend soon. Pleasing their taste buds and ensuring your mental peace is a task to be accomplished, but that cannot be done without the amino acids seeping out of your eyes. Now dispensing all the heavy talk, it is actually quite simple.

 

1. Take any vegetable or leaf or dal, (even grass works though I have never tried, you can at your risk), sauté it till it is just dead. Put it in a grinder with more than generous and bordering on ulceration amount of dried red chili. Throw in quarter of amount of tamarind and salt and whir it till it becomes a red pulp. Caution: Please exercise caution while opening the grinder lid. The weak nosed and lung-ed may suffer mild asphyxiation.  And for garnishing, add the regular tadka material and go for either of the hit combos: Kadipatha-Hing, Garlic-Coriander. Ensure that you have used atleast a quarter basin of oil for this purpose. After all, taste is all that matters. Voila! You have just successfully survived the south Indian hell’s kitchen.
2. Well everything here begins with 4 large anniyans.( No, not Vikram sweetie! It is how Onion is pronounced). So with four large ann oops onions, some ginger-garlic chili paste and any vegetable that can be pureed 90% of you job is done. Throw all this with vegetable/meat/dairy/pulses  of your choice in a pressure cooker with half a ton of garam masala, a ton of oil and 6 whistles later…Lo! Your master piece is ready to be served with garnishing of ann oops onions and coriander. Simpler right? Voila! You have just successfully survived the north Indian hell’s kitchen.
3. Ah! Now how can we forget dessert? Custard powder in milk, boil,cool and pour over fruits. Very english and nice too. Easier still is to pour sweetened condensed milk, if you are richer. Nope, you want to go the traditional way, put milk about half kilo ghee, grated veggie or rice or semiyan in a pressure cooker and 6 whistles later…  add sugar and more milk while hot and stir. Garnish with heart stopping amounts of ghee fried nuts and we have a winner.

Point being if you are fishing for compliments on your gourmet skills, this guideline is not for you. And if you want to be let off easy and nice then my dear girls this is your survival code. And for those of you who think this is gourmet, Amen!

Congratulations! you have successfully completed the Hell's Kitchen-Survival Guidelines online classroom training session. You may print this page for future reference.