Any living creature would have expectations. A cat closes its eyes while lapping milk and expects the world not to notice. An ant expects to find a sugar trove and expects not to be stamped. Us, well we have the greatest and most distinguishable expectation which is why we created something called the Gods.
Now coming to the point why have I started this topic. Well because I am expecting and I’d like to know what to expect and furthermore is to resolve my bewilderment at what people’s expectations are.
To begin with, when I conceived I expected to look like the latest maternity fashion diva, minus all the baggage of morning sickness, the swollen hands and feet, the fatigue and most important not to be handled like a fragile doll. Needless to say none of these were fulfilled. Well, come to think of it I hadn’t exactly prayed to God for all this. I got the utmost attention and utmost care, which I did expect and did enjoy a lot, which came with the baggage of being treated like china doll with about 100 TB of advice thrown at you per day. Yes, I am a software professional else who do you think will have the time and space in this world to write crap on the World Wide Web?
In the last leg of my pregnancy, I just take a look back at a small percentage of the TBs and TBs of expectations that I’ve heard from numerous people, some irking, some funny, some outrageous, some sexist and some downright racist. Sad! Yet true. In my case, I said I wanted a girl. I agree I am a sexist, but then there is 0.5 probability all in all that this could happen. Now one kind lady asked me what kind of a girl. I was foxed! What does one mean by that? So she explained that a girl with my features and with my husband’s complexion. I thought about it a while, and said “Never thought about that.” Then someone asked me why a girl? I thought about it a while, and said “Girls are beautiful and a thing of beauty is a joy forever.” Someone said,” Gaze at beautiful pictures of babies all day and you’d have a winner.” I wanted to ask, “Does that mean if I look at pandas all day long, I’ll deliver some fur ball?” Then someone asked “What if you had a boy?” and I said, “Umm, that’s ok. I’ll still get his ears pierced”. The funniest was people predicting what the child would become in future. I wondered after all we too were kids and we would always complain about our parents having these expectations from us and there would be times innumerable that we would have disappointed them. But from our perspective we would defend by saying “Why do they have these great expectations?” Now there are these plans people make for kids. “I’m going to make my kid a cricketer”, another “I’m going to make her a singer” and I really wanted to ask “Are any of you planning on making your kid happy? “As if this was not enough, I have seen people comment, “Oh he doesn’t have my complexion”, Oh another one “I was way fairer and chubbier as a kid” the best one yet,” I never made such a fuss as a kid”. Wow! These modern day parents really amaze me.
Just for a minute let us assume that the baby inside could think and talk. What would be her/his expectations? Say, “Dear God, Please grant me a super rich dad who can gift me a Porsche on my 18th birthday. Grant me a no-nag mother who is the best cook and can sing the most beautiful lullabys in the whole world. Grant me luxurious holidays to the most exotic places in the world and may my parents be so open minded that they wouldn’t mind me taking a snort once a while.” Aghast at what kids may think? Then think again, it’s a round trip dodo what we are doing now. The poor little mite inside probably didn’t even ask to be there and yet here we are demanding everything in this world from the little one.
That and also the reverse could be true. See when you say “I’m expecting” it involves this plethora of expectations and planning and excitement about the future. Maybe it is normal that people start dreaming of little clothes, cute babies and then they dream far off into the future to see their offspring at the zenith of success. My dream extended to two babies playing chess and my father in law talking to an infant saying “I’m going to make you an IAS.” Neither I nor Guns were there anyway in the picture. The thing that I do expect for my kid is good health and a good attitude, which again makes me no different from any expectant parent in this world. Sigh! Where will these great expectations end?
