A Grandmother's handbook for raising babies

Ideally this post is supposed to be written by my mother. But since she has probably misplaced her reading glasses and cannot handle any key other than the ones on a BSNL landline phone, I on her behalf am writing this piece.Which, is also why I get to insert my own comments too.Grandmothers generally have more patience as a grandmother than when they were mothers. No! they will not believe this. And they firmly believe that as a mother they definitely brought up their daughter better than how her daughter is now bringing up the child.Yet one cannot refute the fact that child brought up in presence of grandparents grows to be an empathetic,social and well behaved individual. A grandparent's lap is the safest and the happiest place in the whole world.

Granny: Once the child is 3 months old you must begin this training. I cannot word it, the graphical representation as below should suffice.This way you get to time the potty. Once the child can sit buy a small potty seat and get your child to sit on it timely.

Mummie: It works! And saves a lot on diapers. I've been saving on diapers since Pari was 8 months old.
______________________________________________________________
Granny: Massage the child from head to toe with gingely oil and let it sink in for an hour. Coat the child with gram flour and turmeric and wash it off with hot water. It will enhance your child's complexion and strengthen her bones and muscles. Also it is helps in getting rid of body hair. After his apply homemade(granny made) kajal and bindi. Kajal will make your child's eyes big and bindi will ward of evil eyes.

Mummie: The whole massage thing is good. Color enhancement is crazy because no amount of gram flour can alter the genes. I cannot comment about hot water, but after such a rigorous bath the baby sleeps till lunch time :). Also languo or body hair on a child does fall off a few months after birth. Big eyes??? Kajal, no matter who makes it,does not have gene altering capabilities. It may be provide some soothing effect on the eyes, but I'd rather not poke my fingers into my baby's eye. And warding off evil eyes... go figure. But yeah a baby with a large bindi does look scary.
______________________________________________________________
Granny: For treating cough and cold take a betel leaf and apply some castor oil on it.Place a blob of moist turmeric on the child's head and place the betel leaf on it. It is said to generate heat and dry the wind passages. Also a small amount of ginger powder in milk once a day will keep these maladies away.

Mummie: It works only if your child allows anything to remain on her head. Also if she happens to be too finicky about the taste of her milk, then god help you.
______________________________________________________________
Granny: To treat heat boils take a small amount of ghee on your palm. Put a few drops of water and mix it till a very white thick  forms. Put this on the boil.

Mummie: It is a winner. However I still recommend visiting the doctor since babies are prone to immunity problems and some cases may require an antibiotic.
______________________________________________________________

Granny: To prevent your child from vomiting milk burp the child after every feed. Do not put down the child for atleast an hour after feeding. In older children say playschool age, check their hair for lice. The only reason to vomit is if they have lice in their hair.

Mummie: Bingo!!!
______________________________________________________________

Granny: If the baby refuses food or has loose motions and fever, first check her mouth. She could be teething. 5 small balls of a homeopathy medicine 'Calcariaphos' will help your child to be comfortable through the teething process. Also there is something called 'Tilsm Moti'. This is tied around a child's neck and is said to make the teething comfortable.

Mummie: Right on all accounts except the Tilsm Moti. Yet I have tied that around my child's neck and probably will be recommending the same 30 years down the line.
______________________________________________________________

Granny: If your child is crying at night and if the child has a cold then you know what should have been done.Else try giving the bottle if she refuses then check the diaper. Many babies find it uncomfortable in the diaper or may be crying due to the begining of a rash. If even after removing the diaper the baby is not comfortable this means baby has colic pains. Take some coconut oil and apply it around the navel area in circular motions. Put a warm cloth over to alleviate the pain. Also the baby may be relieved after passing urine and sometimes this unrest disturbs the sleep and they get cranky.

Mummie: I bow to thee!
______________________________________________________________

Granny: The moment you see your child reaching out to stand up, these traditional walkers will help them to develop a correct posture and help in strenghtening their muscles. Also avoid extensive diaper use lest your child develops a unusual gait. Instead of doling out on those platic walkers, buy these.

Mummie: I don't know about the unusual gait, my kid was hardly allowed diaper at home.But yes, the walker thing is awesome. I bought the standard confinement one for my peace of mind.And then all my troubles began when Pari soon became confident to walk and refused to sit in the walker.
______________________________________________________________

Granny: Teach your child early on the right way to drink.Get the child used to a glass to drink water or juice. Start with a small silver glass and pour 2-3 ml  of liquid and mimick drinking from it. The child will follow suit.

Mummie: YES!!! I would have otherwise spoilt my child to depend on the bottle for everything.Silver or not ensure that glass is lightweight and has a broad lip.
______________________________________________________________

Granny: Ok I'll stick to the habit here because this could be whole post otherwise. Sing songs and tell interesting tales to keep the child engaged while feeding. Make each morsel a tiny rhyme to go down. Show her pups and leaves and when she looks in fascination shove a morsel in. PPS: Lots of ghee is a must.

Mummie: I think a child should be placed in the high chair from the age of 5 months onwards. Also, the child must be encouraged to feed herself. But then who has ever considered  my opinion anyway.

**************************************************************************
Granny: Never yell at the child. You know she is a lot better than you were at her age. You always drove me nuts. Be gentle, don't starle her. Tell her gently.Your baby is such an angel, you should learn to be patient.

Mummie: 100% true. But mom she was putting her finger in the plug socket.

Granny: Sigh!I need to teach you how to baby proof a house.
*****************************************************************

This handbook is expandable and will be updated to add all the learning in the years to come.Contributions are welcome.

Kolams

I love drawing kolams. In telugu the term for it is 'muggu', but it reminds me of muggers(as in studies and as opposed to mugger mugger of American slang). Hence Kolam it remains.

The beautiful patterns made on the courtyard of your home with shell dust or rice flour have a lot of traditional significance. I do not know the history. I just love drawing these and I love they way they enhance the welcoming to a home. Kolam is the beginning of festivity. The color and design and oh the competetion to have the biggest and the most beautiful one on your courtyard, hmm lovely memories. Standing outside with a bat in your hand, to give a whack to that fellow who hit the ball on to your kolam... priceless!Squirming within everytime someone steps right on your kolam while walking into your home, and then serving them a glass of water with the most murderous stare... mmhmmm.

 Kolams are highly mathematical in nature. Connecting the dots is not all about a kolam. The way to do it what creates a masterpiece. Continous practice at a kolam will teach you infinite patience to see a design evolve. I think it is great way to master hand-eye coordination, considering that in today's world 30 year olds cannot draw an egg to look like one.Though it has been years since I drew a kolam on my courtyard, considering I had none thanks to apartment style of living, it still brings me profound peace and happiness when I view these patterns. I have a record of all kolams I drew during my teen years, and today while hunting for some papers these to fell straight into my lap.

A few kolams that I drew long long ago:

And a few I drew today in mspaint:

                                                                              .........sheesh gimme shell powder any day!!!

Hell's Kitchen-Survival Guide lines

Disclaimer: Not to be mistaken for the popular cookery show. Not applicable to people who can cook or assume that they can cook.

If you are reading this then either you are in hell or on the receiving end of it. Since you know where you belong here are a few survival guidelines for the ones in it. It so happens that people belonging to an era that you’d never fathom existed will descend soon. Pleasing their taste buds and ensuring your mental peace is a task to be accomplished, but that cannot be done without the amino acids seeping out of your eyes. Now dispensing all the heavy talk, it is actually quite simple.

 

1. Take any vegetable or leaf or dal, (even grass works though I have never tried, you can at your risk), sauté it till it is just dead. Put it in a grinder with more than generous and bordering on ulceration amount of dried red chili. Throw in quarter of amount of tamarind and salt and whir it till it becomes a red pulp. Caution: Please exercise caution while opening the grinder lid. The weak nosed and lung-ed may suffer mild asphyxiation.  And for garnishing, add the regular tadka material and go for either of the hit combos: Kadipatha-Hing, Garlic-Coriander. Ensure that you have used atleast a quarter basin of oil for this purpose. After all, taste is all that matters. Voila! You have just successfully survived the south Indian hell’s kitchen.
2. Well everything here begins with 4 large anniyans.( No, not Vikram sweetie! It is how Onion is pronounced). So with four large ann oops onions, some ginger-garlic chili paste and any vegetable that can be pureed 90% of you job is done. Throw all this with vegetable/meat/dairy/pulses  of your choice in a pressure cooker with half a ton of garam masala, a ton of oil and 6 whistles later…Lo! Your master piece is ready to be served with garnishing of ann oops onions and coriander. Simpler right? Voila! You have just successfully survived the north Indian hell’s kitchen.
3. Ah! Now how can we forget dessert? Custard powder in milk, boil,cool and pour over fruits. Very english and nice too. Easier still is to pour sweetened condensed milk, if you are richer. Nope, you want to go the traditional way, put milk about half kilo ghee, grated veggie or rice or semiyan in a pressure cooker and 6 whistles later…  add sugar and more milk while hot and stir. Garnish with heart stopping amounts of ghee fried nuts and we have a winner.

Point being if you are fishing for compliments on your gourmet skills, this guideline is not for you. And if you want to be let off easy and nice then my dear girls this is your survival code. And for those of you who think this is gourmet, Amen!

Congratulations! you have successfully completed the Hell's Kitchen-Survival Guidelines online classroom training session. You may print this page for future reference.

Being Jobless..

                                           ...for a woman means just 1 job lesser.

Men will never stop...