Hey! This post is an offshoot of one of the many discussions that I have with Haritha. And as with all discussions this too ended with our notoriously annoying habit of saying ‘Same Pinch’. I wonder if we both had actually pinched each other every time we said that, we both surely would have landed in a hospital severly pinched!
Coming to the point here. This is my take on cooking and you are at your sole discretion to disagree. Cooking isn’t any great art or science. Tell me what art do you see in putting a teaspoon of salt in boiled pulses? Tell me what science do you see soaking chickpeas? Hogwash I say. Any birdbrain thrown in a kitchen with utensils and groceries can cook a meal fit for the kings. For that you do not need a doctorate or an IQ of over 200. I think even a sub-zero IQ will qualify, as cooking is to man what suckling is to babies. I can see connoisseurs of food wrinkling their brows and pursing their lips in disapproval, as I said before to disagree is your choice. I qualify for all the epithets used above because I can cook and I shall be very humble about it, I am EXEMPLARY! I could give this rat a run for his cheese... hmph.
See I have never been a foodie. My basic aim to eat was because it was time to eat and unless I do so Mom wouldn’t allow me to go out and play. So basically I was regardless of taste. How regardless I was is that when I cook dal I forget to put salt and when I eat I never realise that I missed it. Everyone in my mother’s family, her sisters and sister’s daughters are all highly adept at cooking. I, well, I cook when it is so mandatory that not me but people around may die of fatigue and need to be nourished. Innumerable times I wished science would invent a pill that could be swallowed and hunger be dissolved. Alas! I could as well have asked for world peace instead.
I basically learned how to peel, cut, boil and fry things because when Mom was hospitalized I had to take up the responsibility. My poor Mom tried to teach me all good things, she might as well be teaching a wall. Sigh! After marriage too things didn’t change. Rather they got worse. I married into a family of food connoisseur. They assumed my disinterest to be my inability to cook. Well I was fine by it. As long I didn’t have to do it, I was fine with people and their assumptions. My mother however was irked by it. She is a very straightforward lady, never too tactful. To explain to her the fact that I didn’t care what people thought as long as they still felt sorry rather than anti, I was more than happy to be the guilty party and not cook either. People tried to show me how simple it was to cook. I hadn’t the heart to tell them that I knew all of this. They used to happily cook showing me the processes and extolling the virtues of palatable food. To be honest, I knew all of it but I am not ‘put-my-bum-to-the-chair’ type, so I continued with feigned ignorance and a sappy look. People would feel sorry for Guns and him knowing all this thankfully accepted all the sympathy.
As my luck ran out, the cook came up with a real sob story one day. I took pity and asked her to take care of her family. My guess is that she isn’t coming back. Well atleast she is cooking for her family sighs! Well now comes the situation I was talking about. I thought about it for a while. What would I have done if Mom hadn’t cooked for us? What will happen if I do not cook for Guns and me? What may happen when we have kids, and I do not cook for them? It all boiled down to brass tacks now. One fine day I entered the kitchen and said to myself, ‘This is one decision, I will not regret.’ That day onwards I began cooking. But behold, I do not cook for everybody. I cook only for Guns.
Coming to the point here. This is my take on cooking and you are at your sole discretion to disagree. Cooking isn’t any great art or science. Tell me what art do you see in putting a teaspoon of salt in boiled pulses? Tell me what science do you see soaking chickpeas? Hogwash I say. Any birdbrain thrown in a kitchen with utensils and groceries can cook a meal fit for the kings. For that you do not need a doctorate or an IQ of over 200. I think even a sub-zero IQ will qualify, as cooking is to man what suckling is to babies. I can see connoisseurs of food wrinkling their brows and pursing their lips in disapproval, as I said before to disagree is your choice. I qualify for all the epithets used above because I can cook and I shall be very humble about it, I am EXEMPLARY! I could give this rat a run for his cheese... hmph.
See I have never been a foodie. My basic aim to eat was because it was time to eat and unless I do so Mom wouldn’t allow me to go out and play. So basically I was regardless of taste. How regardless I was is that when I cook dal I forget to put salt and when I eat I never realise that I missed it. Everyone in my mother’s family, her sisters and sister’s daughters are all highly adept at cooking. I, well, I cook when it is so mandatory that not me but people around may die of fatigue and need to be nourished. Innumerable times I wished science would invent a pill that could be swallowed and hunger be dissolved. Alas! I could as well have asked for world peace instead.
I basically learned how to peel, cut, boil and fry things because when Mom was hospitalized I had to take up the responsibility. My poor Mom tried to teach me all good things, she might as well be teaching a wall. Sigh! After marriage too things didn’t change. Rather they got worse. I married into a family of food connoisseur. They assumed my disinterest to be my inability to cook. Well I was fine by it. As long I didn’t have to do it, I was fine with people and their assumptions. My mother however was irked by it. She is a very straightforward lady, never too tactful. To explain to her the fact that I didn’t care what people thought as long as they still felt sorry rather than anti, I was more than happy to be the guilty party and not cook either. People tried to show me how simple it was to cook. I hadn’t the heart to tell them that I knew all of this. They used to happily cook showing me the processes and extolling the virtues of palatable food. To be honest, I knew all of it but I am not ‘put-my-bum-to-the-chair’ type, so I continued with feigned ignorance and a sappy look. People would feel sorry for Guns and him knowing all this thankfully accepted all the sympathy.
As my luck ran out, the cook came up with a real sob story one day. I took pity and asked her to take care of her family. My guess is that she isn’t coming back. Well atleast she is cooking for her family sighs! Well now comes the situation I was talking about. I thought about it for a while. What would I have done if Mom hadn’t cooked for us? What will happen if I do not cook for Guns and me? What may happen when we have kids, and I do not cook for them? It all boiled down to brass tacks now. One fine day I entered the kitchen and said to myself, ‘This is one decision, I will not regret.’ That day onwards I began cooking. But behold, I do not cook for everybody. I cook only for Guns.
the last two lines explain why i cook a lot when i come to your place!
ReplyDeletehehe...though this is not the first time Im reading it....I can still feel my blood boiling and ur tongue-lashing at all those 'aunties' who frustrated us all these days :))
ReplyDeleteHey vasu, even though i am scared at the sight of what happened to the Rat in the above picture, I still dare to disagree.
ReplyDeleteWell, the way I look at this blog, its 2 points.
1. Is cooking an art and abt the theory of good cooks and not so good cooks.
2. Intrest at cooking.
I will not touch Point 2. (Knives scare me in my nightmares!)
But I will try to reason (of what I know) out the concept of good and not so good cooks.
Its definetly art. But its something really in you that needs to comeout.
As I look at artforms, you will have knack for it. You may not know it but its in you.
Cooking is all about you seneses. Smell and taste and science (what goes in what order and why) and most importantly, intution which gives scope for improvization.
As shown in cookery shows, if putting ingredients as they say, then all the sambars done in north India should be same as south india and half dal tadkas in south same as north. But its not so.
It all depends on the person sense of smell and intution. And whether the cook knows why some things need to fried before some other items and what combinations work and what dont.
Needless to say, I am passionate abt cooking not very good but trying to find my hidden talent or something ;-)
Cheers
Subbu
Ha ha ha...poor you...so the cooking still continues??
ReplyDelete